Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I recently lost my dad and mum

hiya, urm, well i don't really know howto start, i'm finding it really hard to get up in morning, i feel so down. I recently lost my dad and mum, i'm having counselling but its not working as i don't like to talk about my feelings. i'm living with my grandparents and friends at the moment because i really dont get along that well with my grandparents... i've depression and anti-depressants i just dont know what to do anymore....
Ask Sam



Thank you for telling me how things are for you. It sounds as though you have been through a lot of changes recently and I can hear that you are feeling low. You have experienced big personal losses and it sounds like home life has become unsettled for you. I'm glad that you've got in touch.  

It is good that you decided to go for counselling and many young people tell me that they sometimes feel like it isn't working for them. You don't mention how you get on with your counsellor but it can really help to move things on if you could tell them that you feel things are not working. You might be able to ask your counsellor to look at this with you and find ways to make it work for you - after all this is what you deserve.

When antidepressants are prescribed it can take time to discover what works for you, so it is important to try and talk to the person who prescribed the medication about how you are feeling. Sometimes it can take a bit longer than we would like for things like this to start working for us.

Coping with the loss of parents can affect people in many different ways. You can read more about this on the ‘When someone dies’ page. Here, you can read about feelings without having to talk about them yourself and get advice on things you can try to help you cope. You have been through a lot recently - you might also find it helpful to look at our page on depression and feeling sad for information and support and watch our video on how it feels living with depression.

Lots of other young people have written about their losses and how they have been coping on the bereavement message board.  If you want you can post on the boards and start telling your story and get support from other young people. The message board community is very supportive and welcoming because, like you, they are finding life tough at the moment. Perhaps you could post a message on the home and family relationships board about living with grandparents.

It sounds like when you have counselling it feels hard to talk. Perhaps you could think about having a 1-2-1 chat with ChildLine - some people say they find it easier to talk online, with someone who they cannot see, but who can still listen and help.

Take care,


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