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To Sam

I only feel sad

 I cant helpbut feeling sad all the time, some people in my form make me feel stupid and make funny of me, and im scared to stand up to them, the people who make fun of me are all the popular kids and cool kids, and , well, im not one of them. I am a loser, an idiot buut I do have friends. What should I do?

I barely ever put my hand up in class at school because i am too scared the cool kids will make fun of me, i cant stand it anymore.

Please write back to me, thanks

E****

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

I am really glad you decided to send me a letter about this. I know that a lot of young people feel bad about themselves when they’re not in a certain 'popular' group or they are bullied by others. It sounds like school is a really difficult place for you to be and you have lost your confidence.

Getting confidence back isn’t easy because it takes a lot of courage to step out and be who you are. Usually the first step you need to take is to begin to like yourself. So often when we have been put down by people it can start to make us believe the words they say, even when they aren’t true. Reminding yourself that you are not stupid and you are not a loser is the first step towards being more confident.

A way of building up good feelings about yourself is to set some personal goals. Pick a few and make them a mixture of small and big things. For example, you might set yourself a goal of learning a new skill like juggling or teaching yourself how to cook. Small achievements and victories remind yourself that you are not who the bullies say you are.

Once you begin to feel good about yourself, it becomes a lot harder for other people’s words to put you down. Talking to people like your friends is also a really good way of building yourself up – after all, they see something in you that makes them want to be your friend. Perhaps you can ask them what they like about you.

I hope this helps you. Remember you can talk to one of our counsellors if you want to talk more about this. You can also see what other young people think on our message boards.

Take care,
Sam

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