Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I keep telling lies

hey sam

for a really long time ive been telling lies.

i lie to my teachers and tell them i understand or when called out to answer i say i dont know the answer even if i do. i was ok with these lies then i started to lie to my friends so i didnt have to be around people and say i was getting help when i would sit in the toilets myself until the bell rang and then to my family i say i have hamework so i dont have to be around people anymore and

i lie to everyone that i stopped selfharming i never did i just hid it better than i did before nobody was supposed to know. but now i want help and im to scared to talk to anyone about it because then id have to tell them that i lied.

what should i do ?? how do i stop lieing to everyone ??

Ask Sam


Hi there

Getting stuck in a cycle of lies can start small until more lies are told to cover up old ones. It can be difficult to tell people that you have been lying to them because telling lies may damage the trust in a relationship. It’s usually best to be honest and people are more forgiving if you admit to something before being caught.

There are lots of reasons why people tell lies and over time it can become a habit that’s hard to change. It can be linked to having low self-esteem and being scared of not being accepted if the truth is known. Building confidence and learning to be assertive can help you to feel more positive about yourself.

Telling lies can be very stressful. The more lies you tell, the more you have to remember to try to not be caught out. Fear of being found out can make you start to isolate yourself to avoid being asked questions. Eventually all you might think about is the lies you’ve told, rather than the true things about yourself.

Telling the truth may feel difficult but can be easier in the long run. When you feel ready you can explain that you started lying because you were really struggling and you didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Let them know that you are sorry and you know that lying doesn’t solve anything. You can ask for their help now and say that you understand it will take time to build trust again

When someone feels embarrassed or guilty it can feel difficult to be honest. No one is perfect and getting support can help you to feel less defensive about things you are not proud of.

Self-harm can be a way of trying to cope with difficult feelings. There are lots of distractions which can help you with urges to self-harm. Try different things to find what works for you and the more you practise the better they will work. It’s really important to keep safe if you are self-harming and to get medical help if you are worried about any injuries.

For more support you can speak to a trusted adult or a Childline counsellor.

Take care,


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