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To Sam

i find it hard to talk about my problems

Hello Sam, so no matter what the situation is or how i am feeling I always find it so hard to talk to people about my problems and how i feel, even those closest to me, I just feel like no one is here for me anymore so I just keep it all in, even if my closest friends see that I am down they very rarely ask or check to see what's up, am I just being silly? Please reply thank you
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Sometimes the more we keep feelings inside the harder it is to share with others what’s happening. Maybe it would help to start keeping a journal or mood diary to write down your feelings. It might help you to understand your feelings better and what happens to cause certain emotions.

It sounds like there was a time when you felt able to tell people how you felt. Perhaps it would help to think back to that time, and what helped you to be more open. Maybe it was because people asked you how you were you often, or maybe you stopped because you had a bad time opening up to someone.

It can hurt when those closest to us don’t ask how we are. Maybe people don’t ask  because they know you find it hard to share your feelings and they think asking you would make you feel awkward. It does not mean they don’t care.

One option to change things is writing down what you want to say to people and practising saying it. You could do this in front of a mirror, or ring ChildLine and practise with a counsellor.

Another option is writing some notes to your friends and family. You could explain in each note that you do want to share your feelings and problems, but you are finding it hard to. Perhaps you could put in the notes how you would like them to help you.

If you and your friends watch films or TV shows together, see if one of the characters has a problem you have, or is feeling the way you do. Then you could try opening up by saying "That’s happening to me" or  "Sometimes I feel like that”.  The next time you ask your friends how they are, maybe you could point out that they rarely ask you how you are. That could be one way of getting the conversation started.

It might help for you to speak with a counsellor about this so you can talk in more detail about it. You can call on 0800 1111, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. You could also try getting help from other young people on the Your Emotions message boards.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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