Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I don't know if this is me being pathetic...

I'm finding things so tough right now, my dad for the last twelve years has been saying things to me that I'm now starting to believe. He goes on about how I've ruined his life, how I'm a bad son, how he hates me, how I'm useless, how everyone would be better off if I didn't exist, before I used to take it as a joke but  he's started getting really angry with it nd shouts at me for it so I hide, I used to be able to take it but now it's like it's sunk in. I feel like I'm not worth anything to anyone anymore and that I'm just completely useless. I used to have my friends to support me but recently it's like they feel the same about me as well.they ignore me and will mute my messages and eventually read them and just say who cares its only you. It's all starting to get to me now. I just feel like I'm not me anymore and to be honest I don't know how j can fix it. I'm not even sure if it's me just being pathetic and whether I should just be stronger and ignore everything and deal with it myself? I don't know sorry Sam. Everything's making me doubt me. What my dad says has really messed me up. It's like no one cares anymore - or is that just me being pathetic ?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

When someone tells you things to make you feel bad about yourself for a long time, it’s natural to start to believe them. But this is called emotional abuse, and this is wrong. 

Emotional abuse can have a very big impact on your self-esteem. Having low self-esteem can mean you often have negative thoughts or feel like you're worthless or don’t deserve to have friends. You've been living with this for a very long time and you deserve to get support. You are important and your feelings matter.

It’s really important to know that it's not your fault you have these thoughts and feelings. They are a result of your low self-esteem. Sometimes it's easier to believe bad things about ourselves instead of positive things. And when things are repeated to us they become much harder to ignore.

Finding some support from someone you trust could be the first step towards improving your self-esteem. Your doctor would be able to help you think about what kind of support you might need and what's available to you. You can also look at our building confidence and self esteem page for some ideas of how to start helping yourself.

Sometimes, it can be hard to start talking about difficult feelings to someone in your life and that’s okay. You could try talking to one of our counsellors, who are always there to listen and support you.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter