I hate the fact that people use stereotypes such as emo and goth. When people use these words I suddenly get really angry and upset.
When people call me names or stereotypes I self-harm, and then i get in trouble, which causes me to self-harm more!!
I try to stop, but everyone just makes it hard for me. I get bullied for it, but even before I did i got bullied, I don't understand why everyone hates me but I am an outcast.
Yes, I wear clothes that are different to others and listen to rock music, but why should that make me a bad person? Its not fair!
What do I do??!!
Sam
Hello there,
Thank you for your letter.
Im glad you know that calling someone an 'emo' or 'goth' is stereotyping. Making assumptions and reducing someones whole personality and identity to a single word (like 'emo') can be very hurtful. If people are doing this deliberately to upset you, this is a type of bullying. I can understand why this would make you feel angry and upset.
It sounds like youre saying that you also get bullied about your self-harm. I know how hard it can be to stop self-harming. The stress of the bullying can make it even harder. That sounds like a really difficult cycle to get out of. It worries me to hear that you get "in trouble for self-harming. I dont believe that self-harm is something you should be blamed for. Its a sign that you are in a lot of emotional pain and you deserve to be supported with that. I wonder if theres anyone in your life who is more helpful to you? If there isnt, have you tried talking to someone like a school-nurse, or counsellor, who might have a better understanding of self-harm? You could also take a look at the bullying and self-harm pages in the Explore section for more information and advice.
It can be so hard to know what to do when youre feeling like there isnt a group where you fit in. You might like to look at our message boards, where young people post messages to support each other. Of course, your situation is unique but sometimes it can help to know others are struggling with similar issues and feelings. Youll see there are message boards devoted to bullying and self-harm. I know theres at least one thread on the message board about being called goth or emo.
Youre might also find it useful to talk to one of our counsellors. You can do this by calling for free on 0800 1111 or by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat. You can also email a counsellor, if that's something you'd prefer. They would be happy to support you and talk to you about the bullying and your self-harm. They could help you think through a few ideas that could make you feel a little less overwhelmed with everything thats happening.
The most important message Id like to leave you with is that your taste in clothes and music definitely doesnt make you a bad person. Its part of what makes you uniquely you, and thats something very special. It also doesnt mean you deserve to be bullied. Im so glad you now know that ChildLine is here for you.
Take care,
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
