Ask Sam letter


To Sam

how do i tell?

I have a school councillor who takes me once a week for 50 mins. I really want to tell her about my self harming but I can't for two reasons.

1- I am scared that she will tell my mum.

2- I don't know how to tell her.

Please help me? X

Ask Sam


Hi there

Well done for deciding to try telling your counsellor about your self-harm. That is a really positive step to take.

It’s always great to try to be completely honest and open with your counsellor. That makes it much easier for them to understand your situation and to help you in the best way. Your counsellor would be in a good position to explore the reasons behind your self-harm with you. This might also help you find safer ways to cope with any difficult feelings. Have a look at the self-harm page in Explore – this can give you some ideas for managing your self-harm.

I can hear you have a few worries about talking to your counsellor about self-harm. Before you share anything specific with her, you could ask her to go over her confidentiality policy with you. You could explain that you want to know under what circumstances the counsellor has to share things with your mum. You’ve mentioned she’s a counsellor from your school, so there might be some information on your school’s website, or she might have a leaflet with more information.

If you feel comfortable with her confidentiality policy, then it sounds like the next step is planning what you want to say. Maybe you could try ringing ChildLine and practicing what you want to say to her with one of the counsellors here. The more you say the words, the easier it might feel to use them in your at your appointment.

Perhaps you could start by telling your counsellor how you feel at the moment and then letting her know what you do to cope. Another option is writing your counsellor a letter. You could read through your letter or give it to her to read at the start of the session.

Once you’ve decided you’re ready to talk to your counsellor, it might be worth planning something nice to do after your appointment so you have something to look forward to.

All the best, and remember ChildLine counsellors are here to support you through this. You can call ChildLine for free on 0800 1111. If you prefer, you can log on for a 1-2-1 chat or have an email conversation with a counsellor. It doesn’t matter if you change your mind about what you want to do, or if you’re not sure what to do next, they will be there to listen.

Take care


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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