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hi sam my name is k and im 16 and for the past year i have suffered a coupke of sexual abuse behaviour and i have been dealing with it for ages now but everytime someone mentions it to me it always gives me flashbacks and i hate it what i have done is discusting and i just dont know how to handle it anymore because im sick and tired about how the way people treat me about it and all the sexual abuse was with older guys and i feel terrrible about what i have done i have had i sam
Ask Sam


Hi K,

Thanks for your message explaining how you are feeling.

It seems like you are going through a really tough time at the moment. I can understand that it's hard to cope with both what has happened in the past and also the feelings you have about it now.

From what you have told me, it’s not clear exactly what happened in the past but it sounds like you have been sexually abused by older guys. I want you to know that this is not okay. Nobody ever has the right to abuse you. We have some information and advice on our abuse section. I hope you find this useful.

You talk about getting flashbacks when anyone mentions what happened to you. When a person goes through a traumatic or upsetting experience, such as experiencing sexual abuse, they may have some difficulties following this. They might have nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks and problems sleeping.

Some people are able to deal with a distressing event on their own, but sometimes people need help and support. It is different for everyone. There is more information about this on the Young Minds website.

Many people can feel alone at a time like this, while others may feel too scared or embarrassed to tell anyone. I am so glad that you had the courage to write to me and to take an important first step in getting support with this, especially when you say you are finding it hard to handle. Sometimes people around you do not fully understand what you have gone through and do not know how to help you. It can sometimes seem like they don't care, but in many cases they are just not sure how to help.

It’s really good that you have acknowledged that you are struggling to cope and are trying to find some help. Perhaps you might also like to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. They would be able to help you explore what happened. They can also help you with ways to cope. You can contact a counsellor by phone for free on 0800 1111. Or you can log on for a 1-2-1 chat or email a counsellor.

Take care for now


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