Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

I can really hear how hard it is for you to see a point to life when you feel depressed all time. I imagine feeling this way is difficult to cope with and it sounds like self-harming has been one way you’ve tried to cope.

Telling someone else that you’ve harmed yourself can be a tough decision to make because you may be worried about the reactions you’ll get from others. Sometimes thinking about other people’s reactions can make us believe they will always be negative and we might talk ourselves into not saying anything because we feel sure it will make things worse.

It’s always going to be difficult to know exactly how someone will react but if we feel confident about our own feelings and the reasons behind what we do it can be easier to explain to someone else.

You’ve got two things you want to tell to someone. You want to tell your counsellor you self-harm and you want to tell your mum that you are seeing the counsellor. If you think carefully about how each of those makes you feel and what your reasons for doing them are, that might make you feel confident enough to talk about them.

Talking to a ChildLine counsellor or a friend you trust is one way to help you to understand your feelings better and get that confidence. You may also want to try writing down how you feel, many young people have told me that they find this helpful – perhaps you could think about writing a practice letter to your counsellor or your mum.

Whatever happens, it would be wrong for someone to judge you and the counsellors at ChildLine will never do that. They’re there for you when you want to talk either by chat, email or on the phone.

Take care,

Sam