Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

help i feel so alone i dont want to be alone

Hi sam i dont really want to say my name but i feel so alone im in foster care my best friend who was my social worker she had to leave now i have no one i have no friends at school i feel as so everyone hates me i know they do they think im a horrible person social services hate me the only person who liked me was my social worker now shes gone i feel lost alone i want to run away my foster mum caught me with a book called overcoming depression she just said you want help you tell your social worker i cryed afterwards ive got no one my dads in prison because he was abusing us i have no support i dunno know what to do anymore i say to myself what us there here to keep me here i endless hate byt im strong enough to keep going i got no family i feel unloved everyone hates me i feel like going away forever anyways i hope you get to read this and you can help me i really do want help but everyone keeps turning me down and im scared to ask because i think theyll think im horrible person take care sam
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there

Thanks for your letter and don't worry, you don't have to give me your name. I’m really glad that you decided to get in touch. I can hear that you have been through some very tough times over the years and that you are currently feeling very lonely and like you don't have much support.

I'm really glad to hear that you were able to form such a close bond with your social worker to the point where you felt they were your best friend. I'm sure this was a really helpful way of getting support after everything you experienced at home. I am sorry to hear that your best friend had to go. I imagine this must have been a very difficult loss for you.

One big positive you may be able to take from this is that you seem like a very open and friendly young person. The fact that you have been able to form such a close friendship with a social worker in the past shows me that this can happen again in the future. You clearly have a lot to offer - don't forget that.

I can hear that you currently feel as though everyone hates you. I'm wondering how you know this for sure. Is it possible that you may be feeling that people hate you when they actually don't because your mind is in a negative place at the moment? It's clear from your letter that you are not a horrible person. You sound like a very mature and smart young person who has been through a lot. It's understandable that your self-esteem and self-confidence has been affected.

What has happened to you was not your fault but you can now take positive steps to try and make your situation better. You have already started to do this by taking the brave step to write to me for some advice. Well done!

Social services do not hate you. They have a duty of care for you and this means it is their job to make sure that you are safe and happy. One of the most important parts of this job is to listen to you directly about how you are feeling and what you think. They need to take your thoughts into consideration but for them to do this, it's important to be as open and honest with them as you can.

It sounds like you are struggling with having lost your social worker and that you don't feel as close with social services anymore. Your social worker would likely want to hear about this so that they can try and make things better for you. Perhaps you could think about speaking with your new social worker in an open and honest way like this.

I can really hear how you are feeling alone without any support but I am glad to hear that you feel strong enough to keep going. This isn't something that you need to go through alone. There are people there to support you and it sounds like you could really benefit from this help.

ChildLine counsellors are also always available for you to speak with at any time. You can contact a counsellor through an online 1-2-1 chat, email or by calling 0800 1111. If you ask your counsellor whether there is any face-to-face support available for young people living in care, they should be able to tell you. The ChildLine message boards are also a useful place to speak with other young people in similar situations.

Finally, you could have a look at our Living in care page. It has some useful information as well as some links to services which you might find useful.

I hope you have found this letter helpful.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter