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To Sam

Friend wants to commit suicide

hi, my best friend is having a few issues at the moment and has taken it apon herself to commit suicide... i have no idea what to do or what to say to her. ​ i used to cut and was unwell for a while, and only a few months ago my anxiety has become worse. ive been cutting. i have no idea what to do what to say and how to say things. i want to tell my parents but i know they wont understand... ​ anyways, my best friend has never been more serious about anything in her life... shes even described to me how she is going to do it. its horrible and i really dont like the position ive been put in, i want to tell someone but i dont know how.... ​ please help x

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Supporting a friend can be hard, but there are some things you don't have to help them with alone. If a friend tells you they're feeling suicidal, it's important to help them get support as soon as possible. If you ever feel like they might end their life, it's always okay to contact the emergency services or tell an adult you trust.

When someone close to us needs our help, we want to do everything we can for them. It's natural to want to support them and give them whatever they need to get better. But sometimes this can start to have an effect on us - if it does, it's important to get help for yourself as well. Things like anxiety and self-harm can get more severe with pressure, so you need to look after yourself first. If you're not okay, you won't be able to help your friend at all.

Suicidal feelings can be very serious. If someone you know has told you they're feeling suicidal, you shouldn't feel like it's only your responsibility. It's a good idea to talk to someone else so you're not the only person who knows how they're feeling. If you're struggling to know how to talk to someone, it helps to first write down what you want to say, or to practise it. If you want to practise talking with a Childline counsellor, they're here for you.

Remember there's only so much you can do as their friend. No matter how close you are, a friend is not someone's therapist, counsellor or doctor. Try and gently encourage your friend to speak to an adult they trust or a professional as they can get them the help they need.

It's especially important to tell someone if you think someone's life is in danger and it's always okay to call 999 or tell an adult straight away.

I hope this helps, thanks for your letter.


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