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To Sam

Feeling really lonely

I'm a 16 year old girl with high functioning autism and it's making me feel really depressed lately. I try to be kind to all my friends and make an effort with them but they always leave me out of everything and I just wish there was someone out there that would love to spend time with me  and genuinely cared about me. It's making me have low self esteem and even think about suicide, I feel incredibly lonely and  I hate myself because other people hate me too.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s not okay for people to leave you out and it’s important for people to understand how this is affecting you. It might be that your friends aren’t aware that you’re feeling lonely and uncared for, so it could help to tell them about it. 

If they already know and haven’t been supportive, remember that you have the right to feel cared for by friends. If you don’t feel as though your friends are going to be there for you it might be a good idea to think about making some more friends. I don’t mean ending friendships with your existing friends, but instead developing new friendships with others so that you have a wider circle of friends. We have some top tips for making friends that you might find useful.

You explained that your autism is making you feel really depressed and it sounds as though you might need some support with it. You can get more information from our page about autism. The National Autistic Society website also has useful advice and helpline for support. It could also help to take a look at their Community pages. People who are 16 and over can join their online discussion forum to talk to other people who are affected by autism. Remember that you’re welcome to use the ChildLine message boards as well.

You sound as though you’re also trying to cope with some difficult feelings towards yourself. You said that you hate yourself because you think other people hate you. You deserve respect and you deserve to feel better about yourself. We have some tips for building confidence and self-esteem which might help. 

It can also help to give yourself positive messages, such as “I am worthy of respect” and “I deserve to have supportive friends.” Saying these messages to yourself might help to fight against the negative thoughts you’re having about yourself. Sometimes people write out these positive messages (sometimes called “affirmations”) and stick the affirmations around their room, in places that they’ll often look. 

Please remember that the counsellors at ChildLine can also be there for you too.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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