Ask Sam letter


To Sam

family issues

ive been having alot of problems at home recently and i dont know what do. theres always fights and arguments and its always seems to be me thats the bad one and noone else has done anything wrong. im getting neglected and left out of everything and im not happy. i just want someone to sit and listen to me and just help me
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter, it sounds like home has been a really difficult place for you recently. It’s not easy feeling like you’re being left out and blamed for everything. Everybody deserves to feel like they’ve been treated fairly at home whether there are arguments or not.

You’ve not said too much about the arguments, who they’re with in the family or what happens when there are fights. But I can tell how much of an effect all this has been having on you.

We have lots of information about Family Relationships. It can be good to think about what happens when there are arguments at home and what you might be able to do.

Arguments happen for lots of reasons. Sometimes they can feel like they’re coming out of nowhere and being caused by the tiniest of things. You can’t control how other people react when an argument or fight starts, but you can think about ways that you can get out of the situation before it gets worse.

Sometimes the simplest way to stop an argument can be to walk away and find ways to distract yourself. You could even safely let out the feelings you’re left with. There’s loads of good advice from other young people going through similar things on the message boards - you could have a look to get some ideas.

Neglect is a very serious thing and no young person should ever have to experience it. Neglect can mean lots of different things, but whether it’s physical or emotional neglect it can have a big effect on you. You deserve to feel listened to and supported at home - I’m worried that you’ve not been feeling like you are.

When you feel like nobody is listening or helping, it can sometimes leave you feeling like there’s no point even trying to say anything. Unfortunately even when people care about you, they might not even realise how much you’re going through.

I was wondering when I read your letter who else outside of your close family you’d most like to be able to get support from.

Sometimes thinking about the other adults in your life can help you to think about who you’d feel most comfortable sharing your feelings with. These could be people who are close to the family or people completely outside of it like teachers, a school nurse, a learning mentor or a counsellor. It’s about who you think is best - because you know yourself better than anyone.

You don’t have to go through all this alone. Whether you can think of anybody or not, it would be good as well to think about talking to a ChildLine counsellor. They’re there to support young people no matter what’s happening.

They will never judge you and they are there to listen to you and help you work out what you can do next.  

You can contact a ChildLine counsellor by calling for free on 0800 1111, coming online and using 1-2-1 chat or by emailing them.

Take care,


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