Firstly I don't know if I should even be on here since my situation isn't really serious- but I'll say it anyway.
Is it bad to feel emotionless? I don't even know if I feel that anyway- but I just don't want anything, it's not something suicidal but I just feel nothing, I don't want to die but I don't really want to live- I feel invisible as lame as that may sound- I have friends and family and I love them but I always think about how I shouldn't exist, because doing so causes so many problems for them.
My parent died when I was young- and I used to build up my hatred inside, when I started secondary school that stopped until my sibling died- and sometimes just sit in my room and feel nothing, I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's just me being stupid- that's understandable, at times I end up being different from what I've just wrote, I didn't want to write this for this reason- also in fear that somebody I know will read this and yell at me.
You don't have to answer this and I don't expect you to- it's like writing into a void, because other people have worse problems than me and I know that- so maybe I shouldn't have written this letter...
Sam
Hi there
The really great thing about Childline is that young people can talk about anything online, on the phone or in an email. Sometimes people think their problems aren’t big enough to talk about. But Childline never sees a problem as big or small. No matter what's worrying you, Childline's a safe space to talk it through.
Losing people close to you can be hard to understand or cope with. It can often leave us angry and with unanswered questions, and we can sometimes feel cheated or abandoned. Different people react in different ways when someone dies, but I want you to know that there's no right or wrong way to react or feel. It seems like this feeling has been really confusing for you so perhaps talking to a Childline counsellor may help you to think more about how you feel and what that’s like for you.
Sometimes feelings can be hard to understand and express. They can also change as we get older, and it is important to understand that feelings and emotions are different for everyone. Many young people tell me that doing something they enjoy can help them to connect with feelings they thought were lost or hidden. And others might think abut going to see a Doctor for help with improving their mood. It's normal to feel low sometimes. But when this feeling goes on too long, talking to someone you trust is a really great place to start.
I get a sense that sometimes you feel like you don’t deserve support, or want to cause problems for those around you. Being able to feel confident about who we are and our strengths can sometimes feel really challenging. But everyone has good things to give and can make a positive difference to the world. This is something a counsellor could also help you with.
You have taken a really positive step by contacting me, I do hope you will contact the counsellors to talk this through some more.
Take care,
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
