Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Parents often make decisions for their children about how they spend their time, whether that's where the family goes on holiday or activities during the week. It can feel frustrating not to have any say about what happens and to not be involved in decisions. One way to change this is to show them that you can be a part of that decision by talking to them about it and being assertive.

Talking to parents about something like this can take a bit of thought and planning. You said that you have already told them you don't want to go. But it would be important to really help them understand how much you don't want to go and why you don't. You could try giving them reasons about why you shouldn't go and suggest other things you can do with your time.

Try making a list of the positive things you get out of going to drama, then think about what else you could do that has similar positives. Think about what you might do with those three hours if you were to stop going. You can use this to show your parents how you'll benefit from stopping drama. You can then list the things you dislike about going to drama. This could help both you and them to understand why you don't enjoy it.

Sometimes parents will still need to make decisions for you, no natter how well thought out your arguments are. This will probably feel very frustrating for you. It would be okay to say how you're feeling when decisions get made that you don't like. Coping with that frustration is important too, as well as making the best of the situation you have. If it turns out you still don't have choice about going to drama then perhaps you can find ways to at least get something out of the experience.

If you'd like to talk about this more, you can get support from our counsellors or get advice from other young people on our message boards.

Take care,

Sam