Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. I’m glad you thought of writing to me. It’s so hard when a much-loved pet dies, and it sounds like Steffie felt very special to you. You loved her and she was really young when she died so it's natural for this to have a big impact on you.

I’m not really sure there’s an easy way to get over the death of a dog who has been a good friend to you. It’s a big loss and the feelings that go with that loss can be strong and hard to deal with. I hope you don’t feel any pressure to be very brave about it. It’s okay to be sad when something sad has happened.

I do think it can help to have someone friendly and understanding to talk to. It would be good to think about who you have in your life that will be there to support you. This might be a friend or someone in your family.

We’d really like to talk to you about Steffie as well. You could tell one of our counsellors what Steffie was like and what you miss about her. You can talk to our counsellors any time you want to, both online and on the phone.

Memories of people and pets that we have lost can help to cope with the grief.  Perhaps you can collect any photos of her that your family has and make an album or collage. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel sad about her dying, but it might mean you have good ways of remembering her.

We have a page about when someone dies and it talks about the death of a pet, which can be just as hard to cope with as the death of a person.

You might also want to look at the message boards, where young people post messages to support one another. If you want to take a look you’ll see there are posts about the death of a family pet – and you can always start your own thread. Sometimes reading what other young people have said can help you feel a bit less alone.

After some time passes and with some support, I’m hoping you’ll find your heart feels a little less heavy when you think about Steffie.

Take care,
Sam