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To Sam


My uncle died in july and my whole family was so upset by it. I don't live with my dad so it's like my mom has to go through it alone. My brother is anoying and sometimes i love him or dont like him. My emotions are mixed and my mates dont understand why i feel like this and just call me moody. Should i just fake being happy at school? No one understands me and i just want to stay in a small room and read. But i know i can't do that. What should i do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It takes courage to speak out and tell someone how you feel and I can hear you feel confused about how to cope and what to do with these feelings.

It is normal to feel sad when someone close to us dies and other worries like those at home, such as being worried about your mom and sometimes getting annoyed at your brother, are still there too. I can hear this is making you feel mixed up and not like your normal self.  It can be really hard when it feels like no one understands what you’re going through and you can’t talk to anyone. In these circumstances it can be really helpful to talk to people that aren’t involved in the situation, like a counsellor at ChildLine or a trusted adult, maybe a teacher. That way they can really try and understand what things are like for you and you can get stuff off your chest without feeling guilty or bad about having those feelings. 

People experience loss through death in lots of different ways and it can effect how you feel in general, not just when you think of that person. People can be left feeling confused, sad and depressed, angry, tired and much more and it’s okay to feel like this. Sometimes it can be difficult to know were these feelings have come from or why they are there. 

It sounds like you have not really had chance to talk through how your uncle's death has made you feel or how it’s affected other people in your family. Perhaps it would also help to be able to talk about stuff in general too. You have been really courageous telling me how thing are for you and perhaps you could continue this really good work by talking to a ChildLine counsellor. Sometimes just talking about those thoughts and feelings with someone can be a big relief and can make you feel less isolated.

You can make contact by calling us for free on 0800 1111 or through online 1-2-1 chat anytime. 

Take care,


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