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To Sam

Coping with losing someone

Hi. I'm currently 13 years old, but when I was 11, I found my mum unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. She's been in a coma for 19 months. I've been told it's impossible for her to wake up, but the wait is killing me and I know it is coming and I know how upset I'm going to be. Can I have some advice on how to cope when the worst does come? Thank you!

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be very difficult when someone dies. People experience grief in their own way, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to deal with it alone.

It sounds like you’ve been thinking about what will happen a lot over the last 19 months, which is really understandable. Losing someone, even though they’re still alive, is a lot for anyone to have to deal with and it’s okay to be worried about the future.

When someone dies there can be a lot of pressure to be okay or to feel a certain way. It’s important to remember that there’s no right or wrong way to feel. People might feel sad, angry, confused, guilty, relieved or anything else, but it's okay to express this.

However you’re feeling, it’s important to remember to keep taking care of yourself. That includes not pushing yourself too much, making sure you’re eating well and resting when you need to.

Even though losing someone can be overwhelming, remember that these feelings do get easier in time. Starting to feel better doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting someone or that you don’t care anymore.

Whether it’s now or in the future, you can get support whenever you need it. Hope offers support for any young people who have a family member with a life threatening or serious illness.

Our Childline counsellors are here to support you as well. You can talk to them as much or as little as you need to. They won’t pressure you to cope or get over things, but will listen to you and help you find ways through.

Take care,


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