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Asker

To Sam

Confidence

Hi This is my first time on Childline this is a sort of problem I've had for a while I've had no confidence at all. It was since I started getting bullied in yr 3 and I got bullied for the rest of the school years. I used to be confident but I'm not now because of the bullies. In yr 5 I changed schools, but since I went to that school I got shy now when people are mean to me I say nothing I have a few friends but not many because im so shy and because im shy im not respected.

Every night I'm trying to find a way to build confidence but nothing works ever. I try to not care about what people say like if they call me ugly or something at school I act like I dont care but on the inside i do care. I cry nearly ever night and I have no one to talk to I cant talk to my friends because I dont want them to think I'm mental and I dont want to tell my teachers because other teachers will get involved and I dont want to tell my family because i dont want to talk about it

What should I do

(sorry It's so long)

thx anyway.

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. It sounds to me like you are a very thoughtful young person and have a good understanding where your lack of confidence may have come from. You are right that being bullied can shake your confidence and it is quiet normal to start to feel insecure after you heard lots of mean comments. You can find more information about bullying in the Explore section. 

It looks like you are really working hard to build your confidence back, but it also looks like you are feeling frustrated that 'nothing works'. On Kidscape you may find some additional information that you may find useful.

Well done for making new friends in your new school, even though I can see that you feel that this is not enough. It sounds like you are worried that your shyness stops you from being able to engage with others and you are feeling that you are not being respected by others. I can also hear that it is difficult for you to talk about yourself to your friends, family or teachers. I think that you have been able to express your feelings very well in this letter and I can see that this was a very big step for you to take. Well done. You can also visit the ChildLine message board where you can read what others say about self confidence, post some of your thoughts, or maybe start a new thread.

It looks like you can keep strong during the day - you are showing others that you do not care, even though inside you feel very hurt. It is normal to be effected by what others tell you, especially if it is painful. It is important to have an outlet where you can express these painful feelings. You said that you feel that you have no one to talk to and I wonder how you feel about talking to a ChildLine counsellor, they would be able to listen to you and support you while you are building your confidence. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111, or sign up and chat online, any time of day or night. Being able to talk about what you are feeling may help you to become more confident.

Take care,

Sam

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