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Anger and self harm

Dear Sam
Sometimes I get really angry over tiny little things, like doing school work I don't want to do. Then I turn on myself and start hurting myself. I scratch my arm lots and I punch my face and slap myself and it really hurts but i can't stop. I've told my school head teacher that I get really angry and she thinks that it's because my mum  died 4 years ago. Also I feel like the whole world hates me. I've told my teacher this too. And I've been stealing things out of peoples packed lunches even though I know its wrong. My head teacher and my dad have both asked me why but I can't answer them because I don't know why I do it. If your thinking I get a thrill from it then your completely wrong. I hate what I've been doing and i try to stop but I cant. It's so hard. I even get angry at school but we're trying to stop that by putting a punch ball in the school so I can hit that but I know it won't help. Nothing does.
Please please please help me because I really want all the pain and guilt to stop. Sorry my letters so long.
Ask Sam



Thank you for writing to me, it sounds as though you’re a bit worried about your own behaviour and feelings. You’ve told me your teachers and your dad have been talking to you about this. It seems like talking has been difficult but I think it’s really good that you have been working together to find ways to cope with your anger. It seems like you may be feeling guilty about some things you do: you know it is wrong but also feel that you cannot stop. There are some suggestions on the Explore page of the ChildLine website on how to deal with guilt

You explained that your teacher thinks that sometimes your angry feelings are linked with your mum dying four years ago. When someone dies it can affect people close to them in lots of different ways. Some people experience feelings that are new and hurt deeply and can also be difficult to understand and live with. It may be useful to look at what other young people have said about their experiences on the ChildLine message boards on loss and bereavement.

For ideas about how to cope when you feel like hurting yourself, have a look at the self-harm page. There you will find helpful information about why some people harm themselves and useful distraction techniques that you could try or use as basis to create your own safe ways of distracting yourself.

I can hear that you are trying hard to find ways to change how you feel, and it’s really good that you are looking for support, and ways to cope. You can talk more about any of the things you’ve told me with a ChildLine counsellor online by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or sending an email or on the phone on 0800 1111.

Take care,


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