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Hi N*
Feelings like this can be confusing and difficult to explain, so Im really glad you felt able to write to me.
Being physically active can help to improve how youre feeling mentally so going for a walk, or doing some kind of exercise you enjoy would be a way to get out of your bedroom and might also improve how you feel. Making plans to meet up with those friends who have been asking whats wrong may be another way to make sure youre not in your room all weekend.
Your family may have noticed you behaving differently recently. You could try talking to them about how youve been feeling. Sharing some of your fears and negative feelings with them might help take them off your mind. If talking to someone you know feels difficult, perhaps you could write them a letter like this one you've sent to me. Some people also feel that writing down negative thoughts and destroying the paper afterwards helps to get rid of fears. It can be upsetting to think about hear people talk about rape. One reason that people do talk about it is to try and encourage people to think about ways to protect themselves and stay safe. Thinking about ways to stay safe may help you to feel less scared.
Reading our page about depression will tell you more about signs of depression and ways to cope. To find out if you do have depression youd need to see a doctor theyll be able give you advice and tell you about other support available. You can make your own appointment with a doctor and read more about visiting your GP. If you are not sure about doing that maybe you could ask a family member or a friend to go with you. You may also be able to get some advice from a school nurse or a teacher that you trust. Young Minds is another site with more information about depression.
Please remember that if you dont feel able to talk to someone, you know you can always speak to ChildLine counsellor. You could also share your feelings on the our message boards and read about how other young people have coped with similar feelings.
Thanks again for your letter,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.