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To Sam

Am I depressed?

I've lost a loved one due to suicide a year and a half ago and haven't felt myself since then. I'm always unhappy and can't be bothered to do anything. I've been having sleepless nights even though I use this spray natural remedy thing that's supposed to help. It's started to affect my school work too, not to bee cocky but I got 100% in my last test this time I only got 33% I went from the best in the class to the worst. I get stressed about the smallest of things and anything can get me all teary. I've tried talking to people about this about discussing the problem doesn't seem to solve it. I'm afriad it will only get worse. Please help me, I can't find a letter similar to mine.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Losing someone you love can bring up so many different feelings and when it’s through suicide it can be especially difficult to cope with. Suicide is usually very sudden and can leave us with a lot of questions. It’s natural to be affected – possibly in ways you were not expecting. It's also normal to find it having an impact on other parts of your life.

There can sometimes be a pressure to try and “get back to normal” as quickly as possible after a death and it can even feel frustrating not being able to feel normal. It might take a long time for you to begin to heal and move on. That’s completely okay.

Talking isn’t always something that will “solve” a situation by itself, but having someone be there for you can help to make you feel less alone. Coping with suicide is hard – coping with it on your own is even harder. Even if it feels like it’s not helping, it’s good to keep in touch with someone you trust.

If you’re finding that you can’t focus at school then it might be a good idea to set aside some time each day specifically to think about your loved one. Having a dedicated time of the day set aside to remember this person and let your feelings out can help it to have less of an impact on the rest of your day.

Not sleeping can also make everything feel more difficult. You may need to try a few things to find what works for you. Keeping a bedtime routine is a good start.  You may want to stop using anything with a screen at least 30 minutes before bed, for example. It’s thought the white light from phones, computers and tablets can keep you awake. We have some information about sleep with a lot of tips you might find useful.

ChildLine is a space that you can talk about your thoughts and feelings about the suicide and day-to-day life. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor any time. They will never judge you or tell you what to do. Find out about talking to ChildLine.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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