Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Afraid to tell.

Hey. I feel as though I can't trust anyone. I mean no one at all, not my friends, family and until now not even anonymous letters. I have lovely friends and I love them all but I'm afraid of get hurt. For the past year or so I have been pushing everyone away and I've started to hate people I didn't even know because in some way I thinks it's best because Its easier that way, I don't have to worry one of them will hurt me. I'm scared and I feel so alone do you think you could give me advice? Thanks.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Deciding whether you can trust someone with your feelings or friendship is a really big decision as you do have the risk they will break your trust. There are benefits to trusting people though, and you might find that there are more trustworthy people than you might think. Sorting out the people you should trust from the people you shouldn’t is the hard part.

It’s good not to trust absolutely everybody without reason, but not letting anyone at all get close to you can have a big effect on your feelings. It can stop you getting support when you need it and leave you feeling stuck when you need another point of view.
One of the most important things to remember when you’re thinking about letting people in is that you don’t have to trust everyone with everything right away. Completely trusting people takes time and trust is something that needs to be earned.

Starting to trust someone can be as simple as saying when you’re not feeling happy to see how they react. Taking that small risk to see how it goes can be a really good way to see how it feels for you afterwards, as well as seeing what it’s like knowing that they want to listen.

When you’re keeping something secret it can really weigh down on you. It’s extra important to be sure before trusting someone with a secret or personal issue. This is something you would usually only share with someone who has proved themselves trustworthy before. If you wanted you could try sharing some smaller things with them that you wouldn’t be too upset about if they shared, and seeing what they do with that information. 

A lot of young people post on the message boards about their feelings around trust so you could ask about it there and see what people think. You can always talk with one of our counsellors too, if you need to say more. Trusting ChildLine might be another step for you to take. You can read about our confidentiality policy before you decide if you can trust us or not.

Take care,


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