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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hi there,
Thanks for your message. Youve done the right thing by looking for advice. I can hear in your message that you continue to feel a lot of pain about your dads death. Loss is one of the hardest experiences that people can go through. It doesnt matter what age you are when you lose someone, the feeling of pain can be really tough to cope with. Everyone will react to loss differently and not all of these will be positive such as not talking about your pain or self-harming.
I often get letters from young people who tell me self-harming is their way of dealing with being overwhelmed by their feelings. From what youve said, it seems like self-harming, making yourself sick and overdosing has been your way of trying to cope with some really tough times. Its good that to hear you say that you dont want to die. Im guessing you realise that overdoses can be really dangerous and could put your life at risk. Talking is the first step in getting the support that you are clearly looking for right now. There is more information about getting help to cope with self-harming in Explore and on the Sites website.
You have mentioned that you dont feel able to talk to your mum and you dont feel your boyfriend fully understands. Perhaps you could think about speaking to other family members or friends who may be able to relate to the feelings you are having. You may find it helpful to speak to a GP about how youre feeling. They may be able to offer you some more advice or suggest bereavement counselling. Counselling might be a chance for you to talk about your dad and look at other ways to cope with your feelings. Sometimes having someone there just to listen to you and not judge how you are feeling can be a positive experience.
You may also want to look at Cruses website for young people. Cruse are a charity who provide advice and support about bereavement. They also have a free helpline you can ring on 0808 808 1677 (Mon-Fri 9.30-5pm).
Childline counsellors can also talk to you about your dad, and about alternatives to self-harming. If youd like to talk to a counsellor you can call the free helpline on 0800 1111, log in for a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.
Its also worth looking at the message boards about dealing with bereavement. Theres lots of messages on there from young people in similar situations that may be useful for you to read.
I hope this helps.
Take care
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.