Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

16 and never had a first kiss...

umm, hey, im a 16 year old girl, in my final year at school and i've never actually kissed a guy. I mean, ive had a few pecks but not like major. I've had boyfriends but i feel so socially awkward in this area. My ex, spreaded round I was frigid and then tried getting back with me. I dont know how to overcome this..I'm so embarrassed.. thankyou x
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It’s natural to feel embarrassed about your first experience of kissing or other things in relationships. But it’s ok if these things take time. It can be hard to feel like people around you have had more experiences than you. Everyone is different and it’s likely that you and your friends will experience things at different times. However you feel, nobody is allowed to pressure you to do anything before you feel ready.

Finding someone you feel really comfortable with might not be easy, but it could be a good place to start when looking for a relationship. Feeling able to communicate openly and honestly with someone can be a good base for a trusting and healthy relationship.

It can be a painful and difficult experience when someone spreads rumours about you and it’s important to remember that this is not your fault. It can leave you feeling really low and isolated. You might like to think about talking these feelings over with a friend for some support and ideas about ways to cope and move past the feelings.

You could also think about working on your self confidence as a way to cope with how you feel. It can help you to feel more ready to get to know new people and have new experiences.

You could also think about posting to our message boards, where our supportive community of young people work hard to help one another when they can.

The counsellors are always there for you if you would like someone to talk to. They care about you and will never judge you.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter