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To Sam


So I have smoked weed once and nearly done it loads of other times. My boyfriend used to smoke weed all the time and I hated it but now I have tried it I think and feel like I should start smoking weed a lot more and then maybe ill make more friends and ill be happier. What should I do?
Ask Sam



Thank you for sending your letter to me.

It seems like you're having mixed feelings about whether to keep smoking weed. You've talked about hoping it will help you to make more friends and feel happier. That makes me think you might be feeling quite lonely and fed up at the moment, and that's something you deserve to be supported with. When we're feeling down about ourselves, it can be really tempting to look for a “quick fix” that will take those difficult feelings away. Unfortunately, going for the quick fix can often make problems even worse in the long run.

When making decisions like this it can often help to think through the positives and negatives of each choice. You have explained that one positive to smoking more weed is that it might make you feel happier. While weed can certainly change your mood for a short time, it can also have some harmful side effects on both your body and mind; you can find out more about these on the Drugs page in Explore and at the Talk to Frank website. These websites will also give you more information about the laws around weed in the UK.

I can hear that you hope weed would help you make more friends. I worry about the types of friends who would only want to spend time with you because you are smoking weed. A true friend is there for you through the bad times, as well as the good times. Perhaps you could also think about some other ways to get to know more people. Joining a club or learning a new skill might be a good chance to succeed at something you enjoy, as well as making more friends. You could check out the self-esteem and friendship pages in Explore for some ideas about how to boost your confidence and build new friendships.

You mentioned that when your boyfriend smoked weed all the time you hated it. It sounds like his smoking had a really big effect on you and I wonder what it was that made you feel that way? Weed can certainly cause big changes in the way people act with friends and family. It might be helpful for you to think through what you didn't like about your boyfriend using weed and try to figure out whether weed could cause the same issues for you.

I appreciate it can be difficult to know what to do for the best in situations like this. I would encourage you to come and have a chat with one of the counsellors at ChildLine by phoning 0800 1111, logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or sending an e-mail.

Take care


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