Ask Sam letter


To Sam


i have always preferred being a girl to a boy and love crossdressing, my parents do not like it. They threaten to take away things i love to replace them with stereotypical girl things (Gaming Pc=Barbies) i do not like this and feel like I have been born in the wrong gender

Ask Sam


Hi there

Being transgender means feeling that the gender you were assigned doesn’t match your gender identity. Some people feel that they want to dress in clothes typically made for the opposite gender. Others don’t think that clothes should be for any specific gender and wear whatever they feel most comfortable in.

Your gender identity is how you feel about your gender and how you want to express that. How you dress, walk and act are all ways of expressing your gender and being comfortable with your gender identity and who you are. There’s no right or wrong way to be and people should accept you for being you.

When your biological gender doesn’t match your gender identity you may want to get extra support as things can be confusing. It can help to share your feelings with an adult you trust to help you find ways to cope and express how you feel. Your doctor can also refer you to a specialist for support when you’re struggling with 'gender dysphoria', which is when you're unsure about your gender identity.

Your parents or carers can also get support to know how best to help you as well, but sometimes they may not be as supportive as you hoped. They might be unsure what to do and may not understand what you're going through at first. They may not realise that they're encouraging gender stereotypes when really you should feel free to wear what you want and do whatever activities you want to do.

You could ask a supportive adult like a teacher or a doctor to support you to explain how you feel and what you need, or to talk to them on your behalf. Sometimes writing a letter can help if it’s hard to talk face to face.

It’s important to do what’s right for you and there are ways to express your identity and transition if you want to. Our Childline counsellors are always here to help and support you.

I hope this advice has helped. Thanks for your letter.

Take care,


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