Ask Sam letter


To Sam

the way i look

dear sam
just because i am 17 and weigh about 13 stone everyone thinks i am fat what can i do
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s very normal to think about the way you look. It’s important to know you aren’t alone in feeling this way. You may think that others are confident but this isn't always the case.

There can be a lot of pressure to look a certain way. And it can be easy to compare ourselves to other people. But what’s important is how you feel about yourself, and whether you feel that you are a healthy weight for your age.

Lots of young people worry about their weight while going through puberty. And at your age your body will be going through lots of different changes in how you look and your height. Changes to your body could start to make you think more about how other people see you. Sometimes it can be hard to cope with this change.

Before feeling like you need to change anything about yourself, or your lifestyle, it is important to talk to a medical professional, such as doctor or nurse before changing anything about your diet or exercise plan. A doctor can advise you on how to stay healthy if you do need to do something about your weight. If you decide to change some things about your body it's important that you do this because you want to, not because of things other people say or think about you.

It can be difficult to ignore upsetting comments that people might make and at times it may really knock your confidence. Sometimes, a good way of coping can be to do some things that help you to build up your confidence and self-esteem. Some young people find that it helps to make a list of positive things that they like about themselves. They don’t always have to do with your appearance, it could be something you’re good at, a skill your have, or even a positive quality that you feel you have within yourself, like kindness.

As this is something that lots of people worry about, it is something that people talk about on our message boards too. You might find it helpful to have a look on the self-esteem and body image boards or even post if you felt able to. Sometimes, talking to someone else can be a good way to get a different perspective on difficult thoughts and feelings.

You’ve done well to get in touch and if you would like to talk about this some more you can always speak to one of our counsellors. Remember this is not something you have to go through alone and we’re always here to support you too.

Take care,

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