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Hi there,
Its completely normal to find your own feelings confusing, especially if you're attracted to a friend. Some young people feel unsure about whether theyre attracted to boys or girls. These feelings around sexuality can change over time.
It sounds like you've already thought about when would be a good time to tell your friend. It may be helpful to have a think about how you think you'll feel while she is away if you dont say anything about this to her. Its important to remember that you dont have to come out to everyone at the same time, if you felt ready to tell friends but not sure about speaking to your family, you can talk to your friends without telling your parents.
Sometimes thinking about things without talking to anyone can be stressful. So if theres anyone else you trust it could be a good idea to talk to them about this. Writing a letter is a good way to let out those thoughts and also think about what you would like to say to someone, so Im pleased to hear that youve already done that.
I cant say what the right thing for you to do is, as I have no way of knowing how things will work out, but its important to do what feels most comfortable for you. Talking to a ChildLine counsellor can help, or you can find out what other young people might do in your situation.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.