So this might not seem as big of a problem as the other stuff on here, but I really want to stretch my ear lobes. I feel it makes me look cooler and I usually have a low self esteem but the look of them on me (I usually wear fake ones) makes me feel better about myself. The problem is, my mum said she would disown me if I modified my body in any way. Please help me convince her!
Sam
Hi there,
A lot of young people struggle with their self-esteem. Changing how we look is one way that can help us to feel cooler and more confident. Wearing fake ear stretchers is what you like to do and it makes you feel better about yourself. Doing it permanently is a very big decision to make. It's good that you are talking about it and giving it a lot of thought.
There are risks involved in stretching your ear lobes and it would be a good idea to make sure you have done all your research on it. Having all the facts to hand, like where how you will care for them, means you can give your mum answers when she asks questions. Ask your mum to listen to your reasons for wanting it done and tell her how much it means to you. Listen to her reasons for you not doing it, too, and try to ensure you both give each other the space and time to talk.
You don't say how old you are or whether you already have piercings, but you might need your mums permission to do it. She might have to sign the paperwork. Be ready for her to say no and maybe ask her if she could think about it for a while. Making sure you have the money to pay for it yourself will also let her know that you are very serious about it.
Having low self-esteem can be very difficult to manage. It sometimes feels like we will always feel this way. However, there are lots of ways you can feel better about yourself and you may find our page about building self-esteem helpful.
Being confident is about feeling good inside and out, and acknowledging our achievements and abilities. It can take time to build it up but ChildLine can help you with that. We want to be there for you whenever you need us and talking about how we feel can often help us to build our confidence. You can contact a ChildLine counsellor at any time by phone or 1-2-1 chat - we are always here for you.
Take care, Sam
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