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Hello M,
Thank you for your message, you have been really brave to write to me and tell me a bit about how things are for you at the moment.
You said youve tried smoking once but that you never want to try it again. I think that is a really good decision and you have been really brave to stand up to your friends. People might start smoking for lots of different reasons, including trying to fit in with friends or because they want to know what its like. Once you start smoking regularly, it can be really hard to stop. Smoking is bad for your health in lots of different ways, so Id always suggest staying away from smoking in the first place. Theres more information about smoking in Explore which you might find interesting.
I can hear that you know a lot of people who smoke and they try to force you to smoke. No one has the right to try to force you to do anything that you dont want to do. I am really concerned to hear that they threaten to beat you up if you do not smoke - this is a form of bullying. (For more information on bullying you can look in Explore or there is a helpful website called bully busters.)
I imagine it might be really scary and upsetting when people are putting so much pressure on you. It might be helpful to plan some ways in which you can look after yourself in these situations. If you ever feel scared or threatened by people, its important to stay safe and walk away from them or ask for help from an adult nearby.
People may not always realise the impact that peer pressure and bullying can have on someone. No one has the right to treat you like this and you dont have to go through this on your own. What would it be like to try to get some support from someone you know like a family member or teacher that you like in school? You could also talk to a ChildLine counsellor about the situation you are in. Childline has a free helpline on 0800 11 11 which will not appear on a phone bill or you can go online for a 1-2-1 chat which is a bit like instant messenger.
Childline also has message boards, where young people who are going through similar situations can support one and other. You might like to look at the threads about smoking or you could start a new thread yourself.
Well done for writing to me,
Take care.
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.