Hi,
Thanks for writing to me about how worried you are for your cousin. You sound like a very thoughtful and supportive person. Hes very lucky to have somebody so caring in his life.
I can hear how scared you are that smoking could make your cousin die. This sounds like a very frightening thing to have on your mind. When people feel worried about somebody it tends to be because they care, and its natural to care for a loved one. Its important to remember that although you care about your cousin, his smoking is not your responsibility. He needs to decide when the time is right for him to stop. The good news is, that once somebody stops smoking, their health will start to improve almost straight away.
Smoking can be very difficult to give up. There are chemicals in cigarettes that people can become addicted to. When somebody has an addiction to something, they want it really badly it all the time and find it almost impossible not to have it. Stopping smoking can be a bit like being very hungry and trying not to think about food. As you can imagine, this doesnt make life easy.
Youve mentioned that youve been telling your cousin to stop but that he wont. Perhaps you could explain your worries that he may die. If you tell him just how concerned you are, this might help him to decide for himself to stop smoking.
When your cousin is ready there will be help and support out there for him to quit. A good place to start could be his local doctor. There is more information about stopping smoking on quitbecause. You might also want to look at the page about Smoking in Explore.
Perhaps you could also talk to an adult that you trust about how much this is scaring you. This could be a family member or a teacher or midday supervisor, whoever you feel comfortable with. If you cant talk to an adult in your life, you could try calling the counsellors at ChildLine on 0800 1111. They will be ready and waiting to listen and support you. You dont have to be alone, theres always somebody you can talk to.
Take care
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
