Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Penis size

Hi im 15 and go to a normal school just like everyme else but i feel like when my friends get girlfriends and talk about sexual relations they have had they always talk about how big their penis and if i feel when i get a girl im not going to be able to provide girls are always so pushy about sex and i dont know what to do its been on my mind for months

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Everyone's body is different and that means the sizes of each part of our bodies will be different. There’s a lot of pressure on both men and women to look a certain way, especially when it comes to sexual parts of the body. What someone finds attractive and what they think about their own body size and shape is going to be different for each person.

There’s pressure on both boys and girls when it comes to the size and shape of their bodies. Girls can sometimes feel conscious about the size of their breasts, shape of their body or how their vagina looks. Men can be pressured to look a certain way as well but a lot of people focus on how big a penis should be. In reality there’s no size that any body part has to be, and it's also not true that bigger is better.

When people talk about sex it's not unusual for some people to brag a little bit. Sometimes people exaggerate or lie about how much experience they have and they might repeat things they think they should be saying. This is how a lot of the myths around body size get spread around. It's also important to remember that sex is about much more than the size of your penis. There are lots of ways you can be intimate with someone that don't even involve sex.

You need to feel happy about your body. Your penis or vagina isn't there just to please other people. If you can get to a place where you accept your body shape and size for what it is, then that confidence is noticed by other people. Being confident in yourself allows you to be a lot more relaxed and less anxious about what other people think.

I hope this has helped you but if you want to talk more you can always get in touch with a counsellor.

Take care.


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