Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my old friends and my sis has changed, i havent

Hai, i am 14 and i one day i looked on facebook at my old friends pages. I was looking through photos and i noticed they looked very different to how they looked when i last saw them (primary school) i then went on my twins page, and looked through her pics. It was the same thing. Very different than she was in primary school. I then wondered how different i was to back then, nothing. i have not changed at all, well except for... Erm...breasts my face looks exactly the same, my hair looks exactly the same. I look like a small child. I now feel very abnormal i guess. I know i will bloom eventually, and i remember the saying "The last flower to bloom will be the rarest and most beautiful of all" but i look ridiculous and babyish. I feel that way too.
Ask Sam



Everyone reaches puberty at different ages and develops at different rates. You’re still growing and your body is going through a lot of changes. You’re aware of this but I can hear how frustrating it is right now when you compare yourself to your friends and your sister.

It’s natural to compare yourself to people around you, but it isn’t always helpful and can be more difficult if you’re not feeling confident about yourself and how you look.

Self-acceptance is about accepting who we are and often there can be lots of focus on outward appearances. Thinking about the kind of person that you are on the inside – your thoughts, feelings and emotions are equally, if not more, important.
Thinking about your interests and talents and what makes other people want to be around you can help to build confidence and self-esteem.

Even if you’re not feeling confident on the outside, sometimes acting as though you are can help you to feel it. And remember, there’s more to someone than just the way they look.

It’s possible to accept who you are and appreciate the positive qualities that you have. Talking things through can make your thoughts and feelings easier to manage, so remember you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor or get support from other people on our message boards.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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