Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Bullying can take many forms, and one type of bullying is making comments or jokes about a person’s appearance. You’ve described so well how these comments can hurt inside, even if you’re trying to look all cool about it on the outside.

I can’t think of anyone of any age who would want to have jokes made about their appearance. You have every right to tell an adult what’s happening, whether that’s a parent, a form teacher (or another teacher you feel comfortable with) or a Head of Year.

Perhaps one of them might be able to let your French teacher know that their jokes are hurtful. Also, letting a teacher know what’s going on might mean the people who tease you can be talked to and told to stop.

Another idea I sometimes tell young people about is the 'whatever' idea. It’s when you know in advance what you are going to say to every single hurtful comment that comes your way. At those moments you pretend you are the world’s greatest actor, you shrug, and in a flat, uninterested voice you say 'whatever'. It’s like you’re wearing invisible armour. Your 'whatever' is about showing the people who are teasing you that their words aren’t worth much and are just bouncing off your armour.

There’s a lot of information on our website on bullying, including on the message boards where young people post comments to support one another. There may be ideas and messages there that help you feel more able to deal with things. Our counsellors also are here to talk to you about the bullying and what you can do about it.  You can tell us more by email, with a phone call or by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat with us.

You’ve said that even your friends sometimes make fun of your height. Maybe a counsellor could help you think if there’s a way you can let them know you’d like them to stop.

You’ve done such a good job explaining what’s happening and being honest about how it affects you, so well done.

Take care,
Sam