my friend is being peer pressured, im scared for her...
hi sam,
my friend is 15 and recently got a bf who is 19, he is nice to her, until recently i've found out he has given her drugs and pressuring her to do weed, she knows it's wrong but because of her home life, she doesn't want to lose him, if she says no. i say im here for her, but it's become out of hand, she is missing school to spend time with her bf, i scared for her incase she starts doing harder drugs.
how do i help my friend??
Sam
Hi there,
Thanks for your letter.
It sounds like youre really concerned about your friend. It must be comforting for her to know that youre there for her but its also a big responsibility for you. You shouldnt have to cope with this alone. From what youve said, I sense that things arent good for your friend at home and this might mean that shes more vulnerable to peer pressure at the moment. It can take a lot of strength to say no to someone, and it sounds like its especially difficult for your friend because shes worried about losing her boyfriend.
It might be helpful for your friend to have a think about her relationship with her boyfriend and whether or not hes the type of person that she wants to be with. I can hear that she realises its not OK for him to pressure her into things but shes also started missing school to spend time with him. Im concerned that it might be easier for him to control her because hes a few years older than her.
Respect not fear is a website that explains the difference between healthy and abusive relationships. Perhaps you could suggest that she has a look at it with you? Its worth remembering though, that it can be very hard for people to admit that they are in an unhealthy relationship, and your friend might not be willing to let you help her at the moment.
It sounds like youre a very good friend but it might be a good idea to think of an adult that you trust and have a chat to them about this. Perhaps you could think of a teacher in school that you could speak to. Sometimes talking things over can really help us to see things more clearly.
You are very welcome to log in for a 1-2-1 chat about this or you can call ChildLine 0800 1111 anytime. Perhaps you could encourage your friend to contact a ChildLine counsellor as well. It can be upsetting and stressful trying to support a friend through tough times, and its important you look after your own feelings as well as hers.
I hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam
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