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To Sam

My body

I am getting really down recently as I'm 14 and have the smallest breasts in my year, I can't leave my bedroom without wearing 4 bras to make them look bigger. I lock my bedroom door to stop people from seeing me and I'm sick of it all. I need help :'(
Ask Sam



Thank you so much for your letter. It seems like worrying about the size of your breasts is making you feel really bad about yourself. I imagine that wearing four bras at a time is pretty uncomfortable, and I can hear how self-conscious you feel at the moment. Firstly, I want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are. I know that can be hard to believe, but a lot of women will have wanted to change something about their own breasts at some point. It's easy to imagine that you would feel happier if only your breasts were bigger, but I also hear from a lot of girls who would love to have smaller breasts. Having smaller breasts means you can wear some beautiful tops that just wouldn't be flattering on girls with larger breasts. You can probably think of some celebrities who have smaller breasts and always look fanastic on the red carpet.

Please remember too, that you are still growing and that your body is going through a lot of changes right now. Everyone develops at different rates, and the size of your breasts may still change significantly in the next few years. It's also worth remembering that physical appearance is only one part of what makes someone attractive. The sort of person you are inside and the way you act is hugely important too. We can't always control the shape of our body, but you can do something about how you feel about yourself. Try spending time thinking about things you are good at. Are you a loyal friend? Do you have hobbies that you can do really well? Are you really observant, or a great listener, or someone who can make people laugh? You are very special and the world needs you just the way you are.

Have you talked to any female family members about this? With women you are related to, there's a chance they might have developed in a similar way to you. Talking about this kind of thing can be a little bit awkward, but try to remember that all adults were teenagers once too and maybe felt the same way or thought the same things as you are feeling now. They’ve all had some experience overcoming difficult feelings, so talking to them can be a great help. If you can’t talk to a family member about this, what about a friend, or teacher in school or even a school nurse or your GP? You might also find it useful to look at the information about body image and puberty in Explore. Finally, there's some reassuring information about breast size at the Teenage Health Freak  and Brook websites.

Hope this helps,

Take care,


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