Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hiya Sam,

I am 15 years old and 5 months ago I had a miscarriage my mum and family and friends thinks it hasn't affected me but it has I go missing reguarly and drink quite alot and smoke cannabis and do legal highs I know it is affecting me but I was 2 months pregnant when I had a miscarriage my mum didn't even know I was pregnant until she found a pregnancy scan I had when I was 3 weeks gone I miscarried because I got beat up I was in tears when I found out I lost my baby I am still mortified I wanted that baby so much and no one knows how I feel...

I am just wondering if there is any coping stratergies or something to get me through this?

Ask Sam


​Hi there,

Having a miscarriage is a really difficult thing to deal with. No matter how early on in the pregnancy it happens, it can make you feel down and upset. I can hear how much you loved and wanted your baby. What happened wasn’t your fault.

Sometimes people drink alcohol, smoke and take drugs to help them forget about what's happened. It sounds the miscarriage has affected you a lot and you have been going missing and taking legal highs and smoking and drinking to help you cope.

Whilst legal highs aren't illegal, all drugs are dangerous. You never know exactly what's in them or how they'll affect you. They can also be really addictive - which makes stopping difficult. Drinking alcohol can also be dangerous, as it affects your decisions and can make you more vulnerable. It could be a good idea to think about other things that may take your mind off it, like going for a walk or exploring the Toolbox.

It was wrong for anyone to beat you up, especially when you were pregnant. If you haven’t been able to tell anyone about this, you do have options, like speaking to a trusted adult or the police. They will investigate what happened to help make sure you are safe and that this doesn’t happen again.

You said your family and friends don’t realise how much this has affected you. It can really help to talk to someone you trust as this lets you express how difficult this is for you. This might help them understand more and may be able to offer you support.

You can also get support from your school counsellor or GP. They should be able to put you in contact with services in your area too.

Finally you could get information and support from others who may have had similar experiences to you on the Miscarriage Association website.

Remember you can always speak to a Childline counsellor for support.

Take care


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