For almost a year now ive hooked on mephadrone. its painfull to see me doing this to my self when im only 15 and have my whole life ahead of me, but im stuck in a vicious cycle that i dont think i can get out of. i want to make a change but it seem there is nothing that anyone can do or say that will make me stop. if been going to drug counsiling for almost 7 months and although it helped me to stop for 12 i still got back in to it, i feel so lost. and dont know what more there is for anyone to do to help me, i feel like ive failed as a person and i feel like ive failed everyone who cares for me
Sam
Hi,
Thank you for your letter. Its really good to see that you want to make a change. That is a brave statement to make, well done.
I can see that you have tried many things and you say it seems like there is nothing that anyone can do or say that will make you stop. I can imagine how stuck you must feel right now.
You also say you feel youve failed as a person and failed everyone who cares for you. That sounds like a really difficult way to feel. I want you to know that I dont think youve failed. Anyone who is able to say I want to make a change has not failed. You are trying very hard to cope with a very difficult situation.
You told me that youve managed to stop the mephedrone once already that tells me that you can do it again. Its common to have some lapses when you are trying to give up something addictive, but thats just part of the process. Even though youve started using again now, it doesnt mean youre back to square one. You can use this as a learning experience and think about what its taught you about the things that helps you to stop and what makes you want to start using again.
Think about what support has been most useful before and what wasnt so effective. Consider how the people who care for you can help you in your decision and talk to them about that. Youve talked about what other people are saying and doing to try and help but remember that you are the one with the power to make the changes. There will be lots of things you can do for yourself too. For example, one really powerful step you could take for yourself is deciding that you wont spend time around other people who are taking drugs. Have a look at the advice on the site about overcoming addiction.
Writing to me is a very brave step. I am not going to pretend it will be easy for you to stop. It will take determination and courage but you have already shown that you are brave. If you feel ChildLine can help you, contact our counsellors and talk to them. Maybe you could try giving them a call if you are struggling with an urge to use and they could help you find ways to get through it. Counsellors are at the end of the phone 24 hours a day - call free on 0800 1111. You could also write on the drugs message board and ask for advice from other young people whove been in similar situations.
Take care and good luck,
Sam
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