Ask Sam letter


To Sam


dear sam, i cant stop masturbating and it is really affecting myself and my emotions. is there anyways i can stop it? because i am starting t on doubt myself and not like who am, please can you help?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Masturbation is normal for boys and girls and is okay at any age. It’s up to you what you feel comfortable doing and there’s no right way to masturbate , what’s important is that you’re keeping safe and masturbating in private.

Masturbation can sometimes become addictive and something you can’t stop doing or thinking about, it might start to affect other parts of your life in a negative way. If you're not going out to see friends or falling behind at school because of it, that can be a problem.

When you want to change a habit or behaviour pattern it can help to think about what makes you want to do it. Try to think about what might make you want to masturbate – this is sometimes called a trigger. If there are certain TV shows or music that make you feel like doing it, then you can try to avoid those things. It might be as simple as making sure you're not spending too much time alone in your room. If you stay with your family, you'll be less likely to be able to masturbate.

If masturbation is making you feel bad about yourself, it’s okay to stop. It's okay to masturbate and sometimes it can help to accept that there’ s nothing wrong with it.

I hope this has helped, but if you want to talk about how this is affecting you then Childline counsellors are there to listen. They won't judge you and you can talk to them about anything.

Thanks for writing to me.

Take care,


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