Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Masturbating is normal for both boys and girls from any age. You can masturbate as much or as little as you feel like - it's not wrong or bad for you. If it's starting to get in the way of other things then it might begin to cause problems so it's important to have some balance in your life.

Anything that starts to take over all of your time can become negative, no matter how positive it's been for you before. Masturbation is absolutely fine no matter your gender, age or sexuality. It's something people can choose to do or not, there's no right or wrong. It's your body so you get to choose.

Recognising when you're addicted to something is often the first step to changing. It's a difficult thing to admit but knowing when you have a problem is a good start. Masturbation on its own isn't the problem, it's how much you're doing it that's become the problem for you. One of the best ways to change this is to set yourself a routine and stick to it.

This means setting time aside for all of the things you want to do and all of the things you need to do. You should make sure it has both in it, otherwise it'll be hard to stick to the schedule. Set aside some time for masturbation and other things you do for fun, as well as homework and other things you need to do. This means you can enjoy your free time without feeling guilty.

If you find this doesn't work then setting goals can work too. Start of really small - if you're doing it 10 times per day, try starting with 9 times a day, then when you've done this you can go down to 8. Eventually you can work your way down to an amount you're more comfortable with, one step at a time.

I hope this helps you, but if you'd like to talk more then our counsellors are here for you.

Take care.

Sam