Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi, I am so angry with myself, I am 11 and watching porn and masterbating and I'm feeling ugly and disgusting...

I feel like I am a looser and nobody can make me feel like I'm trustworthy.

Can you help me... PLEASE?

P.S- I know I'm underage to be watching porn...

P.P.S- Can I harm myself masterbating?

Have you got any useful tips to help me stop and be like a normal 11 year old?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Sexual feelings are part of growing and developing and it’s normal to want to find out more about them. It’s common to be curious about porn when exploring your sexuality and masturbation is often part of this. Masturbation at any age is normal and you don’t need to have feelings of anger, ugliness or disgust about doing it.

Although it is made for adults, watching porn is okay but there’re a few things to remember. It shows a fantasy of sex and relationships so it’s not realistic. Porn is made for watching, so like a TV show might have to do unrealistic things to make the story enjoyable, porn does the same. It shows people with unrealistic body sizes and they might have sex in ways that most people wouldn’t find comfortable. Porn will often also show people being treated like objects and with very little respect for consent or their feelings – especially women.

There are many types of Porn, some of which can be harmful to watch. Be careful when looking at porn online because you can easily come across things that you didn’t mean to find. Remember that it’s also okay to not watch porn if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

As an 11-year-old, you’re likely beginning puberty. This can make you curious about your sexual feelings and wanting to find out more about this part of yourself. ~Masturbating~ should be about making pleasurable feelings so it’s unlikely to cause you any harm, however it can take some time to find what feels good for you.

It’s okay to masturbate as often as you want to, although if watching porn and masturbating is making you feel uncomfortable or you begin to feel addicted, you might decide to reduce the time you spend doing this. If you were trying to masturbate less try to think of ways you might distract yourself such as spending time outside, doing a task or physical activity.

I hope this helps, thanks for sharing this with me. If you’re still feeling unsure about what to do, you could talk about this with a Childline counsellor. They would never judge you, they’ re here to support you and help you decide what feels best for you.


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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