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Kicked out for being a lesbian

I'm a 17 year old girl and I am a lesbian, no questioning that. I came out to my family and friends when I was around 14 or 15. My friends were fine with it but my family wasn't.
Dad has always said if I'm happy then he doesn't really see a problem but my mum and brother tell me I'm 'screwed up' and I 'need help' because I'm 'disgusting and wrong'. I can deal with this occasionally but mum found out about me and my girfriend sleeping together earlier today and Shes told me she 'doesn't want a lesbian living in her house' so what do I do? I have no where to go.
Thankyou for any help, I love what you do, it really helps so many people -From A
Ask Sam


Hi A,

It sounds like life at home has been really difficult for you since you came out to your family. From what you have said, your mum and brother have not reacted well but your dad is being quite accepting. It’s good to hear that you have friends who support you but at the same time it can be hard when you are getting a mixed reaction from the people you live with.

I can hear that your mum and brother will make hurtful comments to you about your sexuality and it's not okay for them to do that. This behaviour is a type of emotional abuse, which is wrong. It seems like now that your mum is aware you are having a sexual relationship with your girlfriend, she has told you that she wants you to live somewhere else.

In the UK, the law says it's okay for you to leave home without your parent’s permission at the age of 16. However, you will be unable to sign a tenancy agreement until you are 18 years old because that is a legal contract. If staying at home doesn’t feel like an option for you, it could be worth thinking about whether there is a friend or family member that you could stay with. It is hard for me to tell from what you have shared with me if your mother wants you to move out or if it was a bad choice of words by her. Either way it has made you feel that leaving home may now be an option. In these situations talking to a parent may also still be an option for many young people. Choosing the right time and the right things to say can be important here and it can offer a family member the chance to calmly express how hey feel.

If you find that moving out is still something you want to consider then you might like to think about contacting the Albert Kennedy Trust which is an organisation that supports LGBT young people who need housing or support with living at home.

Shelter is a national homeless charity that may be able to help you think about other housing options. You might also find our Sexual orientation pages helpful.  At the moment we are focussing on LGBT history month and on the issues faced by people in similar situations to you.

I’m glad you felt able to tell me about what’s been happening and I hope this reply has been useful to you.

I want you to know you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor for support at any time. You can phone them free on 0800 1111. You could also create an online account to talk to a counsellor by email or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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