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To Sam

Is my cousin harassing me?!! please help!!

Over the paat year my cousin has been doing things that have took me to the point of not wanting to see him. Hes 14 I'm 13 and he has ADHD.

We used to pretend to be ninjas in his room when i went to see him but once he tied my hands together with a belt and started dry humping me. Then he started to pull up my top and he said eww you've got hairs on your back. I was struggling the whole time but hes so strong. Then he called me his prozzie and still does. Also when we're in his room and it's just me and him he always takes his top off even in winter. Then a few weeks ago we were playing pool in a pub (the pool table had its own room) and he kept poking my bum with the cue. I told him to stop and he said no its fun. Ive had serious problems at school with this kind of thing and it makes me really upset. Also he only does these things when we're alone. Does he want more or is he just mucking about? Ive had councilling because of what hapened at school so this is big for me. PLZ HELP!

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

When you’re being treated wrongly by a family member it can be difficult knowing whether or not it’s okay. How you feel about what’s happened is what’s most important. When someone touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable then that’s not okay.

What your cousin is doing is wrong and you don’t deserve to feel this way. Sometimes when you’re being bullied like this it can be hard to know exactly what’s happening. What you’ve described to me though is sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse is when a young person is made to take part in any kind of sexual activity. This can include the other person trying to touch them or making the young person touch them. Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, and it doesn’t matter whether the person doing it is male or female, old or young.

Some young people will blame themselves for what’s being done to them or don’t want to say anything because the person doing it might not mean it. Abuse is something that isn’t ever your fault, and even when the other person doesn’t realise it’s wrong, you deserve to be supported to have it stopped.

Talking to an adult you trust can be one of the best ways to make sure that you’re supported. Telling someone isn’t about getting your cousin into trouble, but it is about making sure that you’re safe and happy.

Sometimes talking to someone can be scary but you don’t have to be alone. Counsellors at ChildLine are here any time you want to talk things through. You can speak to them using the 1-2-1 chats, by calling for free on 0800 1111 or by writing them an email.

Take care,
Sam

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