Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I'm confused about this.

So, I'm bisexual, I know that for a fact, but recently I've been talking with my girlfriend if I'd ever be fully gay I know that sounds bad, but, let me continue. I'll explain what I can see myself as/doing.
So I could see myself in a relationship with a guy, long term. But if I committed to the physical side of things would this make me gay instead of bisexual or does it still come under the same classification as Bisexual if I'm in a relationship with a guy and am comitting to the physical side of it.
I hope this makes sense to you
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Our sexuality is just one part of who we are. For some people it’s not important that there is a label for who they are attracted to. For other people it can be really important to have a label. It can help them understand themselves better.

Everyone's different. And there's no right or wrong. It's really up to you if you put a label on yourself.

There are lots of ways to describe a person’s sexuality. All of them are normal and there’s not one sexuality that is better or worse than any other. Being gay is just as okay as being bisexual, straight, pansexual or any other way someone wants to describe themselves.

It seems like you’re worried that by putting a label on your sexuality now that you have to stick to that forever. This isn’t the case. It’s fine to experiment and find out who you are attracted to. You might stick to one gender now, but later decide that you like both – only to go back to one gender again at some point. There are no rules.

It can be healthy to take the pressure off yourself and let you be who you are. It’s usually the better way to really discover yourself, rather than trying to fit yourself to any specific label.

You could check out our message boards where other young people share their thoughts and feelings.

I hope that makes sense.

Thanks for the letter.

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