Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I need my first bra

Hi Sam,

I’m 13- almost 14 and I think it‘s time to ask my mum for a bra but I’m too nervous and I don’t know how to bring up the subject.

thank you


Ask Sam


Hi there,

There are lots of changes to your body during puberty, such as your breasts developing. You might notice that you need a bra as your breasts grow.  When you move around they might feel tender or uncomfortable, especially when you walk, run or play sport.

Your breasts will grow and develop into their own natural size, shape and position and they are unique to you. Everyone is different and there’s no normal size – only the right size for you. You might also notice that your breasts are slightly different from each other too and it’s common for one to be bigger than the other.

Sometimes people close to you like your parent or carer might not notice some of the changes because they happen gradually. Opening up the conversation about getting a bra can sometimes feel embarrassing so it might help to find a quiet time when you’re not likely to be disturbed. Let your parent know that it’s important and that you’d like them to listen.  If it’s difficult to talk face to face you could send a message or write it down.

Getting your first bra is a big milestone and you might not feel ready or try to put off wearing one for as long as possible. You could start by wearing a crop top or a bra with soft support that’s not underwired. Your bra should fit correctly, feel comfortable and not restrict the growth of your breasts. To get the right size you can measure yourself at home or go with an adult to use the fitting service in a store. It’s okay to try different styles to find one that feels right for you.

You can get advice from a Childline counsellor about puberty or anything else that’s worrying you if you’d like to talk more.

Thanks for the letter, take care.


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