Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I hate everything about me

I hate the way I look, everything from my eyes, to my feet, I hate it all. I hate my personality, the way I have so many fears, and the way I feel so awkward at anything. I hate my habits, from biting my nails to clicking onto Facebook everytime I'm on the internet. I hate my fashion sense,  I wish i was more indie! I hate the way i sing all around the house and I hate how much I wish I was a good singer. I hate the way I just cannot accept who I am, and the way I wish beyond belief that I was someone else.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. It seems from what you say that you are dealing with some really difficult thoughts and feelings at the moment. It is great that you have been able to describe to me how you feel and you have taken the first steps towards working through your problems. It must be very difficult for you to feel you hate and can not accept who you are and wish that you are different.

It is really important that you understand that you are not alone. Feelings like this can be a sign that you are facing other difficulties in your life or that you need some help, support and reassurance from a trusted adult. It is possible to learn to accept and appreciate who you are and get help to see the positive qualities that you do have. The explore page on building confidence and self-esteem has more information about how you can do this.

Everyone needs help and support to get through difficult times in their lives. Not sharing your problems and feelings can often make them seem worse. Just talking things through can make difficult feelings and thoughts seem smaller or easier to manage. Perhaps you can think about someone who you could begin to talk to. If you feel unable to talk with friends or family it may help to talk with your doctor or school nurse. These people should understand. They will have spoken to lots of people with similar feelings to yours and will be able to advise you about the help and support available to you.

You are also welcome to talk to a ChildlIne counsellor by phoning 08001111 or online by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. You may also like to look at the ChildLine message boards where there are lots of young people who talk about feeling different. You can even start your own thread and see what advice others give if you like.

Take care,


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