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I feel so fat

i feel so fat and ugly, and im too scared to go out incase i get judged. i hate my body. some girl has already told me how fat i am. i just i dont know. im scared feeling like this is going to give me really bad anxiety about going to college in september im just really worried how i look and scared to get judged on. from l* x
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Sam

Hi L*,

Bullying is never okay and I’m concerned to hear that this girl has spoken to you in this way. Nobody has the right to do that. It’s not your fault that it happened. When you’ve been bullied about how you look, you can start to believe what the people have been saying. But it’s important to remember that each of us deserves respect, and it’s not okay to judge somebody based on the way they look.

After being bullied, your confidence and self-esteem might be low, so it can help to get support from those around you. Think about which people you trust and let them know that you’re feeling hurt and afraid because of the effects of the bullying. You might also find it useful to have some counselling, so that you have a safe space to talk through the upsetting thoughts and feelings you’ve been left with.

There can be a lot of pressure to look a certain way and to have a certain body type. The messages come from lots of different places and lots of the time, we don’t really question if these messages are safe and healthy for people. For anybody concerned about the body shape or size, the best place to go for advice is your doctor, so that you can get clear, safe medical advice on what’s right for you.

You mentioned feeling anxious about going to college in September. It might be a good idea to think of some things that could help in the moment, if you notice yourself feeling anxious. Different things work best for each person. Some people find “affirmations” or positive self-talk useful so that when they realised they’re getting worried, they can say to themselves “This feeling will pass in a minute” or “I’m worth being treated with respect”.

If anxiety becomes a problem in your life, remember that you can speak to your doctor for medical help with this as well. You definitely don’t have to try and cope with it on your own. If you’d like to talk through what might work best for you, you could speak to a ChildLine counsellor so that you can talk through ideas together.

I hope this helps and that you get the support you need so that you can enjoy going out and the new experience of college life.

Take care,

Sam

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