Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I don’t know what gender I am

hi sam! so im bit confused well actually very confused my birth gender is a girl but when ppl say that im like it that dosent feel right but then i think im not wanting to be a boy because that dosent feel right ethier so im dont understand cause i dont know what gender to say i am but im kinda forced into wearing girl stuff witch i wont lie there are some nice things but also i like boys clothing! i hope you can help

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Most people think about their sexuality or gender at one time or another.

For some people it’s clear what gender they are, but it’s also okay to be unsure. It can take time for people to understand, and their identity may change. There really is no such thing as "normal" and it’s important that you’re able to discover yourself at your own pace.

Not everyone sees themselves as completely male or female and some see themselves as gender fluid. This is a person who doesn’t identify only with being male of female and sees their gender moving between both.

Someone may describe themselves as transgender where someone is unhappy with the gender they were brought up as. There are many different definitions of gender identity and it’s important that you’re able to make the decisions around who you are in your own time.

Your identity is made up of many things, like your race, ethnicity, how you look, any disabilities you may have, and your gender. Your identity makes you who you are. Everyone is individual and unique, although at times people can make assumptions based upon what they see.

Gender is one of the most obvious characteristics and can be used by many people to make assumptions. The NHS Choices website has lots of information around gender identity that may help you understand more and give you extra support.

Your feelings around how you look and feel can have a big impact on your life and it’s important that you have the support you need to work out anything you’re not sure about. Your body goes through a lot of changes as you grow and it can take time to get used to the way you look. All this can have an effect on the way you feel.

It can take time to accept yourself for who you are. This acceptance can include noticing things that you’re happy and unhappy about, and seeing them all as part of what makes you unique.

You deserve to feel happy and Childline counsellors are here to listen and to support you whenever you want to talk more. Thanks for sending me this letter.

Take care


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