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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hi there,
Thank you so much for writing to me about how difficult things are for you at the moment. From your letter I can hear just how alone you are feeling. To have written it all down as openly and as honestly as you have done to tell somebody for the first time takes so much bravery and courage, so well done.
It sounds like you really need some support and thats okay, everybody needs support in their lives. You dont have to feel alone with this. It sounds like you may be ready to take that first step in telling somebody which could open up the door for you getting the support you deserve.
This support could be seeing somebody for some medical advice on the process of change. Support could also start at a local youth support group where you could meet young people who have similar experiences to you. This could help you reflect on what you would like for your future with the support of others.
I can hear that its very difficult for you to see other people feeling happy and free in what they are wearing. It sounds like this is very different to what you are experiencing. Its really important to know that its okay to be the person you want to be. There are options and support out there for you.
Your sexuality is a natural part of who you are and it needs to sit comfortably with you. If you feel more comfortable understanding yourself as gay, a boy that loves other boys, then that is okay.
You might find it useful to take a look at our transgender identity page. You might also find it helpful to look at the Childline message boards - it's a place where other young people share their similar experiences.
It was good to read that your mum is really supportive of LGBT rights and seems to have an understanding already. Im wondering if the next step is about making that big, brave leap forward to having the conversation with your mum. You could write down what you want to tell her if that's easier for you. This can make her aware of how you are feeling. Im also wondering if its the fear of not knowing what she will say that is making you think she may reject you. Perhaps you could ask yourself if she knew how difficult things were for you, would she want the opportunity to support you? Only you can answer that question but there is always a ChildLine counsellor who will listen and explore all these feelings and experiences when you feel ready. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.